Writer's Block: Forgive and forget?

[cattygabriel]

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I loved Lucifer very much, once; he was my closest friend, and I also respected him as His Second and the leader of the Host. He was the bright Morningstar; his name, Lucifer, meant Light-Bringer, and he was truly the highest, most glorious angel in Heaven.

And then he defied our Father, and Fell, and took a third of the Host with him. Heaven was never the same after that. I watched him Fall, and it hurt. And when we ran into each other after that... he was so changed, and yet you could still see vestiges of the angel he had been once.

Most of the time, as far as I am concerned, the Lucifer I knew is dead. But then there are times when I think back on our subsequent encounters and wonder how much of him is left in Satan.

Comments

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael quibbled and moved over to the Messenger. He had something in his hand, a bright red feather with its edges brushed with gold. It was tied to a chord like a pendant, a gold decorative bead on either side. "Gabriel..." He offered a smile. " I... want you to have this..."

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel touched the feather curiously. "It's yours, isn't it?" He looked up at Raphael. "Thank you. But why?"

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael gave one of his trademark gentle smiles, looping the cord around the Messenger's neck. "One of my flight feathers," he said, sounding pleased. "I just wanted you to have something to hold onto when you feel alone."

[cattygabriel]

The feather rested against his sternum, fiery colour contrasting with his white robes, and there was still a faint sense of Raphael's aura lingering in it. Gabriel smiled, hugging his little brother.

"Thank you," he repeated.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael abruptly sat up, startled by the Messenger's sharp reaction. He was about to ask if he had felt danger nearby when he became painfully aware that he had been touching Gabriel's wings. Most angels were protective about their wings, but Gabriel especially so. And he knew why.

He looked down at his hand as if it weren't his, feeling as if he had just betrayed his friend. "I- I'm sorry," he stammered lamely.

[cattygabriel]

"It's alright," Gabriel responded, slowly returning to his previous position. Every muscle in his body was tensed, though, like a skittish, cornered deer ready to run. "I don't think you were thinking properly. I'm sorry too, Raphael. I'm sorry I can't give the same level of trust that I receive, I just... I can't."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

"I understand," he said softly. And he did, but the hurt he felt over it was still there. As if he, a Healer, would ever hurt him. He wouldn't hurt a fly (and Oreo cookie shake perhaps. But not a fly...) So did that mean...

"You don't have to trust me, Gabriel," he finally said, gazing back up into what little sky poked through their patchy ceiling. "It... It's okay..."

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel reached out to touch Raphael's shoulder, squeezing gently. "I do trust you, Raphael. More than I trust most people. Just... not with my wings. I'm sorry."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael beat his wings, propelling himself higher. The sky slowly began to change to beautiful colors of darker blue, dusted with a shimmer of stars as curtains of mist peeled away. He felt free up here, where Earth meets infinity. 

Here, there were no fears. There was no Falling. There was no demoness that he had falling prey to. He was strong and healthy and powerful. Gabriel and Michael were happy.

All was right with the world.

Here, where Earth meets infinity... All was right...

He beat the thin air harder.  

[cattygabriel]

God's in His Heaven, and all's right with the world...

The snatch of poetry came to Gabriel's mind as the night breeze ruffled his dark hair. He craned his neck back to stare at the vast expanse of inky sky above him, sprinkled with stars, as though someone had strewn crushed diamonds across black velvet. The bright Evening Star was still shining, brighter than anything else in the sky, though Sirius and Jupiter came close.

"The ancients looked up at the sky, and saw gods and Heaven," he murmured. "You can see why."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Raphael whispered. Were he a mortal being he would have not been able to exist within the vacuums of space. To see the planets move and shift, silently singing their praise to their creator... something only himan machines have ever seen.

"I think..." he breathed, closing his eyes. "I think I know what you mean about becoming one with the presence, Gabriel. I can see how you would believe that. To be apart of what lives in everything... Oh, Gabriel..."

His eyes glistened like the stars that slowly moved in the Heavens. He had given up his right to whatever eternity awaited the angels, but looking back to see the Messenger so happy, a look of pure peace on his features, he knew it was worth it.

Those beautiful wings will never be stained black... Will never know pain and sin...

[cattygabriel]

It was cold, at this altitude, but Gabriel was not the Prince of Ice for nothing. He took a deep breath, arms outstretched, the beat of his wings keeping him airborne as he practically lay back in mid-air to see the stars stretch out above him in all directions. It made him feel so small, so insignificant; and yet the sight of the constellations somehow reinforced the notion that he was only one part of an all-encompassing, ineffable Plan.

"I think I got that idea when I was looking at the stars, actually," Gabriel answered softly. The stars had been Lucifer's to preside over, he remembered; their light was still pure, however, and so was his own. A small smile curled his lips. At the moment, it seemed that everything would work out; there was a place for everything in the Plan.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

"Don't ask me!" he cried, tears spilling from his eyes to join with the shining diamonds around them. "Please!" Please please please...

In a final fit of pure desperation, raw and intentionally meant to push away his dear friend, he spoke words that were both untrue and cruel in their delivery. "I hate you! I always have! You're no better than any demon because you let someone believe a lie!" Oh the irony in his lethal words. "Just... You want to be alone, do you? Fine! I-I don't ever want to see you-you again!" He dashed of again, long braid whipping around him, not bothering to hold back his painful sobbing.

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel hung in midair for a few moments, lips parted in shock. There was a strange pounding in his ears, and a lump in his throat.

You're no better than any demon

Raphael was hardly better, then, if he had let Gabriel believe that the Healer did love him as a brother for so long. Evidently he was either a more skilled liar than Gabriel thought, or he was lying.

But he had no reason to lie, did he?

Gabriel had known Raphael since Creation, had always trusted that his gentleness and fondness were sincere. But then, he'd trusted that Michael would never do anything to lead either of them into temptation, either.

"I think you forgot something, Raphael," Gabriel called, though he doubted the Healer could hear him. The cord around his neck came undone easily enough, and the bright red feather dangled from his fingers for a moment before he let it fall after Raphael.

He vaguely wondered if Uriel would shock him next, as he turned and flew towards Heaven, needing to feel the Presence before the numbness gave way.

*BAAAAAAAWLS!!*

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

The Healer watched from a hidden patch of cloud as he disappeared into the Heavens. A bright red feather floated down and he reached out to catch it. Clutching it to his chest his sobbing echoed through the sky, weeping the pieces of his shattered heart. I love you my brother... I love you I love you...

He watched until he could no longer see him, knowing he had returned to Heaven. A part of him wanted to catch up to him, embrace him tightly, and tell him everything.

Instead he slowly moved to where they had last been together, the Messenger a beautiful shining star in the heavens. Closing his eyes and still clutching the feather, he could fill Gabriel's lingering presence and, for a moment, imagined he was being embraced by his dear friend.

Re: *BAAAAAAAWLS!!*

[cattygabriel]

[ooc: I'm already hormonal and you just made me cry. xD <3 *hugs*]

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

*Looks over at Raphael huddling in a corner sobbing uncontrollably*

:( The poor things. I guess we'll just have to wait until either Gabriel finds out from Heaven what Raphael did or he decides he's going to demand answers. Guh, I have weeping in my head now. *hugs you* <3

[cattygabriel]

*hugs Raphael*

He does do a lot of paperwork, and he and the Metatron don't like each other at all, so I can imagine the Metatron leaving a copy in Gabriel's in-tray to put in Raphael's file just to see his reaction. xD

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

*Raphael sniffles and hugs back, then goes to write in his Journal (http://halosphere.livejournal.com/12485.html)*

What do you think Gabriel's reaction would be to finding out what Raphael did?

[cattygabriel]

Shock. Disbelief. Hurt. Possibly anger. And then he'd hunt Raphael down and demand to know what he thought he was doing.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

No no I was about to finish it now :3 Go ahead and go to sleep, and be assured of a happy story when you awaken <3 At least, happy for the poor Messenger <3

Thanks for RPing with me again <3 Lemme know when youre ready for Gabriel to confront Raphael :3

(awww I see the new pout!Gabriel icon *hugs*)

[cattygabriel]

Aww. <3

No problem! <3 I will.

(LOL He's not pouting, he's pissed off.)

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Poor Raphael has been sobbing all day from what happened :( He misses his friend Q.Q

[cattygabriel]

I'VE been sobbing all night and now all morning because Gabriel is in this state. :P It's like, there are few people he lets that close. He lost Lucifer a long time ago. Now in a few days he's lost both Michael and Raphael. He basically only has Uriel and God left.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

No prob <3
*pats Raphael as he miserably stares at that feather*
Don't worry, Raphael will be okay, I'll make sure of it ;)