cattygabriel | Gabriel sees Uriel post-Fall

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Gabriel sees Uriel post-Fall

Gone was the angel who walked barefoot around the Manor library in jeans and T-shirts with a smile for his cats and anyone walking in; the being pacing Lucifer's foyer now was every inch a cold, furious Archangel.

In the Manor chapel, Gabriel had paused long enough to send notes to Michael and Raphael explaining what had happened - they might have sensed it, have already known, but Uriel was their brother too and Gabriel should at least let them know - and another to Mary Hodges, saying he'd be away for a while due to a family emergency and requesting that she keep an eye on the cats. Outside, the rain turned to unseasonable hail.

Gabriel had called his sword and horn to him and hung them on the belt of now ornate robes, his wings unfurling behind him, lit by the glow of his own aura; he normally disliked reminding people of his rank, but his younger brother was in Hell and he wanted to remind any demon trying to stop him that he was not in the mood to be stopped and cross-examined.

And it had not worked. All Gabriel wanted was to find Uriel and Belial, but he had been met by enough politeness and red tape and bureaucracy to put Heaven to shame. Asmodeus had met him at the gates, oozing civility, and agreed to grant him safe passage to at least see his brother, and as they entered each successive circle there had been new border checks and forms and repeated questions and attempts to get him to disarm. By the time Asmodeus had finally shown him into what seemed like Lucifer's foyer and left, the Messenger's already stretched patience had been hanging by a frayed thread.

He strode up and down, wondering desperately where and how Uriel was while trying to avoid any thoughts about Uriel's Fall itself, or any possible changes in his brother. He had failed Uriel, should have been more vigilant, should have made sure Belial stayed away from him, should have tried harder to intercede with their Father on his behalf, and his face was stony as he imagined everything he could have done to keep Belial away.

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"Did you want an honest answer?" Gabriel replied. "Because if so, then where would I begin? With the fact that I no longer know what to say to the brother I love? Or the fact that we are all here because Uriel Fell? Should I list everything I could have done to keep him safe, every way I failed him? Or my other failings over the millennia? Or should I go further back to your own Fall?"

Despite his words, his tone was fairly calm and even.

Setting aside his cupcake for a moment, Lucifer poured a half-cup of tea and added in a generous measure of sugar and cream before handing the cup to Gabriel. "Start wherever you like. I can and will answer every question you ask."

Gabriel accepted the cup, taking a sip; its milky warmth was comforting. "Thank you. But questions are dangerous. You both know that."

Lucifer glanced over at Uriel pointedly before turning back to Gabriel. He reached for his own cup, taking a sip of unadulterated rich, black tea. "The only dangerous questions are the ones that go unanswered."

Gabriel set his own cupcake too in favour of cradling his cup, enjoying the heat. "That is easier for you to say. Any stray thought questioning Him or His Plan is dangerous for me."

Lucifer smiled over the rim of his cup, the steam curling up around his face. "Of course. Because He is not in favor of answering questions. Better they go unasked, unthought, than be voiced and give way to unpleasantries."

Gabriel looked up at him. "Yes. I cannot deal with that loss again, Lucifer. I cannot even fathom losing it wholly and Falling."

"I am Fallen, Gabriel, yet I cannot fathom it myself. To be cast out because I dared question Him, because I loved Him too much."

Throughout the exchange, Uriel remained silent, unwilling to interject anything else that could possibly push Gabriel further away.

"I am sorry." Gabriel shifted, reaching out towards Lucifer's hand before remembering Uriel's earlier reaction. He set his teacup down and muted his Grace, shifting back into his human form before reaching to clasp Lucifer's hand. He held his other hand out to Uriel. "It will not hurt now, I promise."

Uriel hesitated to take Gabriel's hand, deferring to Lucifer's judgment. It wasn't until Lucifer set his cup aside and took Gabriel's hand in his own that Uriel finally uncurled himself and reached out wordlessly to his brother.

Lucifer was so very smug and had to put forth a conscious effort to keep his own aura from blinding the two angels. "It has not been and never will be your place to apologize, Gabriel."

Gabriel was a little hurt when Uriel hesitated, but he smiled when his brother took his hand, squeezing it lightly. "Would you come closer, Uriel? Please?"

He turned back to Lucifer. "But I am sorry that you have had to endure that. And that I could not follow you, and still cannot."

Uriel was reluctant to move from the comfort of his chair, but for Gabriel, he would. Releasing his brother's hand, he chose a new place to sit, curling up with his cup of tea at Lucifer's feet.

Lucifer held Gabriel's hand tighter in his own warm, steady grip, comforting rather than confining. "Do not lie, least of all to yourself, Gabriel. You could and you can, but you did not and will not. There is a difference."

Edited 2013-06-06 05:24 (UTC)

Gabriel laid his hand on Uriel's shoulder instead - not gripping but simply resting there as he drew comfort from his brother's presence, changed as it was.

He bowed his head, feeling ashamed for the lie, though he had always genuinely thought it truth before. "I will not, then. Because I have tasted His displeasure and for all that I am His Strength, I do not think I am strong enough to bear it again. I need His love; sometimes it was all that made some of my other tasks bearable. I do not know how you bore its loss."

"And so you bury your head in the sand and ignore all common sense in hopes that everything will be okay?

We have to ask questions, find answers, make discoveries and adapt to those discoveries. That is the way of the world. Even the humans - where would they be if the wisest among them had never questioned what was thought to be the natural order of things? They would still be living in dark caves, scavenging for food, easy prey for every predator, ever illness, every shift in the seasons.

His love was not a coin I dropped on the ground as I wandered through life. I did not lose it, Gabriel. He chose to rip it away from me.

How did I bear it? By offering myself to all the other lost souls He damned to the darkness, by rebuilding the pit of chaos and torment we had been exiled to and opening it up to all those He has cast out for the ever so great sin of questioning the way of the world." Here he paused to stroke Uriel's hair reassuringly, delighting in the way the fallen angel leaned into his touch.

"I bear it because I am Lucifer. I am the Lightbringer. I will not let my light be dimmed even though He no longer allows my light to grace the halls of Heaven. There are others in need of light, and I will not turn my back on them solely because He turned His back on me."

Gabriel was leaning forward slightly, raptly, eyes fixed on Lucifer's face. "Your light has not dimmed. I missed it, in Heaven."

He had a vague feeling that he should not be admitting such things, but he also hoped that his honesty would please Lucifer; he wanted to please the Lightbringer, ached for what Lucifer must have endured when His love was ripped away from him, was entranced by his words.

"But humans do not have to bear our pain when they question Him. They Fell from grace too, but it was not the same; they can ask questions, can change. We cannot do so, not without direr consequences. And every day I fear those consequences. I love Him more than anything, but I also fear Him."

Pleased by Gabriel's posture, if not necessarily his words, Lucifer released Gabriel's hand to instead cup the angel's face in his palm, thumb lightly stroking his cheek. "As I have missed you."

He drew a breath, decided to press his luck and test the limits of his power over the Graceful angel. "Listen to what you have said. He rules you with fear because it is the only way He can guarantee your love. Is that truly love?"

Gabriel tilted his head, leaning into Lucifer's warm touch, lashes lowering slightly. At Lucifer's question, however, he frowned a little.

"I loved Him long before I had cause to fear Him, and I still love Him. And my brothers do not have such cause to fear Him, so I always thought it was my own fault for questioning Him. It had to be mine, it could not have been -" He stopped, eyes widening; no, he could not finish that sentence, could not even think it, God was faultless despite His harsh treatment of Uriel that drove him to Fall, despite what He had done to Lucifer, despite Gabriel's own fear -

He pulled back a little, wings unfurling to wrap around himself, fear written in every line of his face. "The last time I thought Him harsh, I was exiled."

Uriel looked up at Gabriel curiously, surprised at where the conversation seemed to be leading. He remembered what Belial had said about Gabriel loving Lucifer, but given his brother's refusal to listen when he spoke of his own love for Lucifer, his acquiescence now seemed odd. Then again, Uriel thought as he listened to the gentle cadence of Lucifer's words, it was easy enough to lose one's self to that voice.

His reverie was broken when Gabriel pulled away. Startled, unsure what to say, he reached out to his brother hesitantly, fingertips barely brushing the tips of his wing.

Edited 2013-06-06 17:40 (UTC)

Leaning back, Lucifer left the task of calming Gabriel to Uriel. "Do you truly think you are alone in questioning Him? You know full well Uriel endured an exile far longer than yours, and he is not the only angel who has sought my light when left alone in the darkness for so long. Do you still think the fault lies in you?"

Lucifer pinned Gabriel with his intense gaze, demanding attention. "If you truly believe you are so faulty then tell me, Gabriel, who made you? Who made you with fault and fear and doubt? Who made you so imperfect, and then punished you for those imperfections?"

Gabriel stiffened a little before relaxing slightly and extending his wing to brush against his brother's palm. The touch was calming, but there was only so much it could do against Lucifer's words and the turmoil they raised in Gabriel.

"Father did," he whispered, feeling pinned and vulnerable under that gaze and yet wanting to lose himself in it. "So that we might overcome our imperfections and have something to work towards." It seemed a strange reasoning even to him, now. What was perfection, besides Him? His Son? Michael?

"Would you considering me imperfect then?"

Gabriel stared at him for a long moment. "No. You were and are perfect, Lucifer."

But then, that would mean that Lucifer was the standard for everyone else to strive towards. And yet he was the cautionary tale, though now that he was again in the Lightbringer's presence Gabriel could not see why.

"I understand your reasons better now, Uriel," he murmured, without taking his gaze off Lucifer.

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