Fic - Memories

[cattygabriel]

To follow this.

Memories

 

In the Beginning, there was a garden, with all manner of flowering trees and plants and animals flourishing in it. A man and a woman walked among them, delighting in this young world. And on a hilltop nearby, unseen, stood an angel, watching over them, and thinking of absent friends. Another angel joined him. The first angel smiled, but briefly.

“Hello, Uriel.”

Uriel inclined his head, but did not speak at first. He and Gabriel simply stood there for a while. Again, Gabriel broke the silence.

“Sometimes, I wonder if he would have liked this. He liked the park prototype so much, after all.” His eyes gazed, unseeingly, straight into the Sun.

Uriel turned to look at him. “Are you referring to the Morningstar?” he asked evenly.

Gabriel laughed briefly. “Who else did I spend hours with, walking in the park and flying over the City?” He knelt to pick a flower, running his fingers along its soft, creamy petals. “I know the friend I loved exists no more, and yet I am constantly reminded of him. And it hurts.”

Uriel knelt, too, resting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “As you say, the friend you loved exists no more. Have you not mourned enough, then? How long can you continue like this? Lucifer defied Him, and he was justly punished.”

Gabriel’s fingers tightened, crushing the flower. “What would you know of mourning, Uriel? You were not as close to anyone.” He exhaled, unnecessarily. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Uriel responded softly. “I know more of mourning than you think, Gabriel. You mourn for one of the Fallen; I mourn for all of them. I Severed each of them from the Presence, and as I did so I felt their pain and loss. That’s something I can and will never forget, the sheer pain and emptiness.” He placed gentle fingers on Gabriel’s cheek, turning the other to face him. “But I don’t let my grief control me, and neither should you. Let it go.”

Gabriel looked pleadingly at him. “I’m scared I’ll forget him, if I release my grief. I don’t want to bear this pain, but I don’t want to forget the good in him, either.” He had only allowed himself to shed a single tear, as Lucifer Fell, though that one tear had perhaps been born of more sorrow than the rivers of tears others had shed; fearing that to let go of his grief would be to let go of his memories of his friend.

Uriel smiled, his arm curving around Gabriel’s shoulders. “You won’t. Letting go of your grief means releasing your pain and sorrow. You’ll still feel sad, but it won’t be as bad, and you’ll still have all your good memories of him. They won’t be tainted by grief. I think,” he added, frowning slightly. “It’s alright, Gabriel. You’re the Angel of Mercy. Be merciful to yourself.”

Gabriel let his head rest on Uriel’s shoulder, and he finally allowed himself to cry.

The flower slipped from between his relaxed fingers, falling onto the soft, dewy grass.

~*~