Gabriel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cattygabriel) wrote2013-05-17 03:04 am
cattygabriel) wrote2013-05-17 03:04 am
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Gabriel sees Uriel post-Fall
Gone was the angel who walked barefoot around the Manor library in jeans and T-shirts with a smile for his cats and anyone walking in; the being pacing Lucifer's foyer now was every inch a cold, furious Archangel.
In the Manor chapel, Gabriel had paused long enough to send notes to Michael and Raphael explaining what had happened - they might have sensed it, have already known, but Uriel was their brother too and Gabriel should at least let them know - and another to Mary Hodges, saying he'd be away for a while due to a family emergency and requesting that she keep an eye on the cats. Outside, the rain turned to unseasonable hail.
Gabriel had called his sword and horn to him and hung them on the belt of now ornate robes, his wings unfurling behind him, lit by the glow of his own aura; he normally disliked reminding people of his rank, but his younger brother was in Hell and he wanted to remind any demon trying to stop him that he was not in the mood to be stopped and cross-examined.
And it had not worked. All Gabriel wanted was to find Uriel and Belial, but he had been met by enough politeness and red tape and bureaucracy to put Heaven to shame. Asmodeus had met him at the gates, oozing civility, and agreed to grant him safe passage to at least see his brother, and as they entered each successive circle there had been new border checks and forms and repeated questions and attempts to get him to disarm. By the time Asmodeus had finally shown him into what seemed like Lucifer's foyer and left, the Messenger's already stretched patience had been hanging by a frayed thread.
He strode up and down, wondering desperately where and how Uriel was while trying to avoid any thoughts about Uriel's Fall itself, or any possible changes in his brother. He had failed Uriel, should have been more vigilant, should have made sure Belial stayed away from him, should have tried harder to intercede with their Father on his behalf, and his face was stony as he imagined everything he could have done to keep Belial away.
In the Manor chapel, Gabriel had paused long enough to send notes to Michael and Raphael explaining what had happened - they might have sensed it, have already known, but Uriel was their brother too and Gabriel should at least let them know - and another to Mary Hodges, saying he'd be away for a while due to a family emergency and requesting that she keep an eye on the cats. Outside, the rain turned to unseasonable hail.
Gabriel had called his sword and horn to him and hung them on the belt of now ornate robes, his wings unfurling behind him, lit by the glow of his own aura; he normally disliked reminding people of his rank, but his younger brother was in Hell and he wanted to remind any demon trying to stop him that he was not in the mood to be stopped and cross-examined.
And it had not worked. All Gabriel wanted was to find Uriel and Belial, but he had been met by enough politeness and red tape and bureaucracy to put Heaven to shame. Asmodeus had met him at the gates, oozing civility, and agreed to grant him safe passage to at least see his brother, and as they entered each successive circle there had been new border checks and forms and repeated questions and attempts to get him to disarm. By the time Asmodeus had finally shown him into what seemed like Lucifer's foyer and left, the Messenger's already stretched patience had been hanging by a frayed thread.
He strode up and down, wondering desperately where and how Uriel was while trying to avoid any thoughts about Uriel's Fall itself, or any possible changes in his brother. He had failed Uriel, should have been more vigilant, should have made sure Belial stayed away from him, should have tried harder to intercede with their Father on his behalf, and his face was stony as he imagined everything he could have done to keep Belial away.
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"I loved Him long before I had cause to fear Him, and I still love Him. And my brothers do not have such cause to fear Him, so I always thought it was my own fault for questioning Him. It had to be mine, it could not have been -" He stopped, eyes widening; no, he could not finish that sentence, could not even think it, God was faultless despite His harsh treatment of Uriel that drove him to Fall, despite what He had done to Lucifer, despite Gabriel's own fear -
He pulled back a little, wings unfurling to wrap around himself, fear written in every line of his face. "The last time I thought Him harsh, I was exiled."
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His reverie was broken when Gabriel pulled away. Startled, unsure what to say, he reached out to his brother hesitantly, fingertips barely brushing the tips of his wing.
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Lucifer pinned Gabriel with his intense gaze, demanding attention. "If you truly believe you are so faulty then tell me, Gabriel, who made you? Who made you with fault and fear and doubt? Who made you so imperfect, and then punished you for those imperfections?"
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"Father did," he whispered, feeling pinned and vulnerable under that gaze and yet wanting to lose himself in it. "So that we might overcome our imperfections and have something to work towards." It seemed a strange reasoning even to him, now. What was perfection, besides Him? His Son? Michael?
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But then, that would mean that Lucifer was the standard for everyone else to strive towards. And yet he was the cautionary tale, though now that he was again in the Lightbringer's presence Gabriel could not see why.
"I understand your reasons better now, Uriel," he murmured, without taking his gaze off Lucifer.
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He pulled away one final time, this time resting his hand on Uriel's shoulder. "And we are always here."
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He was still so afraid. As much as he tried, he could not squash and ignore the thought that perhaps God was the one at fault. Blasphemy, some tiny corner of him whispered weakly, but it seemed to make so much sense, especially with Lucifer's words, Lucifer's voice, assuring him that he was not at fault. After so long of blaming himself for everything he should have blamed God for, policing himself constantly to prevent further doubt, hearing Lucifer say you have done no wrong was like a balm.
Even so, long habit meant that he was still unsure about letting himself think about all this, still searching for some way to justify His actions, and still waiting for His wrath. Still, Lucifer had told him to think about it, and he would try.
"Thank you, Lucifer," he said sincerely. He would have pressed his lips to Lucifer's hand in gratitude, but the Lightbringer had pulled away and he found himself disappointed by the loss of contact. "Your words mean much to me."
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He rose, coaxing Uriel to stand as he did so. Wrapping an arm around the Fallen angel's waist, both protective and possessive, he pulled him even closer. The angel gazed up at him rapturously, and Lucifer smiled - truly, it could not possibly gone any better even if he had planned it out in advance.
Still smiling, he turned his attention to Gabriel one final time. "Should you be going, or will you stay?" Though a seemingly innocent question, there was something to the way it was said, a certain weight to the words. If Gabriel chose to stay, it would be a final, permanent decision.
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Despite everything, he still loved God; there was doubt now, yes, but he still loved Him and had spent a lifetime carrying out His will, standing in His presence. He still feared Falling, although now he was beginning to wonder about that too; this was the happiest he had seen Uriel in so long.
Duties, he had other duties, although all he wanted at the moment was to kneel before Lucifer and carry out his will. But Lucifer had been so kind to him; surely it could not be wrong to come again, to simply speak with his Fallen brothers.
"I should leave." He still looked torn as he stepped towards Uriel, wanting to embrace him before leaving. "Uriel?"
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"Thank you."
He moved to embrace Uriel. "I am sorry I would not listen to you, earlier." Come to think of it, why had he been so unwilling, when he now knew Uriel had been right? And what had finally made him listen?
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He stepped away, smiling wistfully. "If you ever need me, you know where to find me."
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He moved closer to Lucifer, still hesitant to leave his presence. "May I...?"
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It was as if nothing had changed. Lucifer was light-hearted, laughing, as bright and beautiful as he had always been, always there to listen and to lend a hand. For the briefest of moments - the space between one heartbeat and the next - the air around them shimmered and Gabriel was surrounded by luminescent white wings.
Then Lucifer too stepped back and the ghostly wings were gone, if they had even existed in the first place. "Think, Gabriel. Think about what I have said." He brushed Gabriel's hair back and let his hand rest at the back of the angel's neck. "You know I do not lie, and I only want the best for you."
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He was ashamed of himself for thinking that Lucifer must have changed, that the Lucifer he had once loved must be gone; it had been easier than thinking - knowing, now - that he was still within reach.
"I will. You have given me so much to think about." He raised his hand, fingers curling loosely around Lucifer's forearm; he did not want to leave the Lightbringer's arms, his warmth, just yet.
Lucifer had never lied to him, had been warm and welcoming where Gabriel had been cold and suspicious and fearful because of the millennia spent being shaped by His apartheid rules. And despite knowing His love, Gabriel had only ever been a tool, an instrument, a herald. His own feelings about his tasks had been disregarded. Lucifer, meanwhile, wanted the best for him.
If he had been more in control of himself, he would have been appalled at his own thoughts; though if he had been more in control of himself, he would not have had such thoughts at all.
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He leaned in one final time and kissed Gabriel softly, fully on the lips, then pulled away, leaving the angel standing on his own.
Sliding his arm around Uriel's waist, he pulled the fallen angel to his side. "We must be going, but I will be glad to see you again Gabriel. Send a message if you wish, or know that you are always welcome by my side."
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"And I would be glad to see you both again."
He glanced at Uriel and wondered what it was like, to be by Lucifer's side. "Be well, Uriel." Bowing his head slightly to them both in farewell, he concentrated and Ascended to the Manor chapel.
He found himself facing the statue of Lucifer, its features serenely beautiful in the way most angelic sculptures were - albeit with two curls of hair forming little stylised horns - and smiled slightly. His sword and horn and robes faded away, leaving him in his usual jeans and shirt as he left the chapel, Lucifer's warmth still lingering on his skin.
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