cattygabriel | Messages between Michael and Gabriel (Reply)

OOC: Do note that these messages were sent aaages ago, via LJ's private messaging system, and that playing Gabriel was still fairly new and I was still working out bits of his backstory and interaction with Michael and so on.

I found a series of messages that Michael and I had sent to each other, prior to his arrival at Tadfield Manor. Here they are, for archiving purposes.

Hello, Michael.

Nice to see you again. I just had a look at some of your userpictures, by the way, and I couldn't help but be amused that some of them do look rather feminine. ;)

I went out to buy cat food and couldn't resist getting you some lipstick and rouge as well, since you look so pretty in one, in particular, of those pictures. Would you like them wrapped? ;)

~ Gabriel

Dearest Gabriel,

Thank you for the kind offer of the rouge and lipstick; in exchange, I bought a statue of you.

I had no idea your breasts were so big now! You know, if you're very nice, Chamuel might take you bra shopping. Might I suggest something red and lacy?

- Michael

PS: No seriously, it's nice to see you again.

Michael,

First of all, I am not your 'Dearest' anything.

I have actually seen a painting version of that particular sculpture. And I assure you, if I were ever to lose my sanity and assume a female form, I am perfectly capable of shopping for my own bras. I see no reason to buy lacy ones - they seem itchy and uncomfortable. Also, your apparent wish to see me in something red and lacy is rather worrying.

I notice that when *I* am depicted as female, I have a very nice slim figure and am noticeably female, and when depicted as male, I do appear male or androgynous, and still appear slim. However, even when you are depicted as male, you still look pretty. And rather rounded, for a warrior. It's rather an achievement, I must say.

~ Gabriel

P.S. I'm touched.

My Darling Gabriel,

You wound me! Prince of Ice indeed!

I have no idea as to your implication of that; you're a brunette and thus look good in red. Any sort of improper thoughts that you might have attributed to me are merely a result of your own imagination. If you really want me to start imagining you in lacy red lingerie, you'll have to model some for me.

Oh, humans. They have some weird notion that none of us are "tough." I'm planning on correcting that craziness. I'm hot and buff, and you're pretty and slim, and neither of us have breasts (that I'm aware of, but you do wear loose robes and I might have missed something). You would think it wouldn't be hard, but that's why Humanity will be destroyed some day.

-Michael

P.S. I know.

Michael,

Well, I suppose these endearments are better than embarrassing nicknames. *sigh*

I really have nothing to say to that. I refuse to model for you.

Your modesty astounds me, it really does. And I most certainly am not "pretty". That's a rather feminine adjective. And as for that comment about breasts and loose robes; really, Michael, you continue to be the only person who can leave me at a loss for words.

Have you ever really experienced humanity? In all honesty, I will be very sad to see it go.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

None of the nicknames I give are embarrassing, I'll have you know ;)

Hey now, I never once said you had to, but only if you wanted me to imagine. And geez, you're no fun at all...

But you are pretty. Like a princess. My own Ice Princess Gabrielle. And as for leaving you at a loss for words, well, SOMEONE had to or else you'd never stop talking, O Messenger!

And actually, no I haven't. I'm rather boycotting the place since our Earthen Representative lost that flaming sword I gave him.

- Michael

Michael,

Embarrassing for ME, I meant. The mere fact that I'd take 'Darling' or 'Dearest' over those should speak for itself.

Well, if you consider parading in lingerie fun, I'd rather be boring, thank you.

*splutter* I swear, when I see you I will smack you SO HARD, Michelle.

You should spend some time here, then. That was a long time ago, and truly, there is so much beauty here. And I'm sure Aziraphael feels horrible about it.

~ Gabriel

My Darlingest Gabriel,

I know what you MEANT; I'm just pointing out that you shouldn't be embarrassed by any nickname I give out. If you MUST know, the ones you get are generally in better taste than other people's.

I really meant you can't take a joke ;) I guess I'm used to it by now though... And if everyone laughed at my jokes, I'd have a huge ego problem now wouldn't I? ;)

I'm looking forward to it, Gabriella ~ Gabriel

[ooc: part of Jen's/Michael's message was truncated by LJ and Gabriel/I never got it]

Michael,

*sigh*

I suppose I should be grateful for that, then.

Because you don't have one already? I do have a sense of humour, but my sense of humour and yours operate on different wavelengths, apparently.

Likewise, Michelle.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel:

See, the humans invented the Internet, which in turn invented Teh SuxX0rz. That last message involved my wondering about lovely places on Earth to visit and referencing the Plan and other things of import. So, to sum up, Earth: where should I visit? I'm thinking of taking a vacation, a world tour. You should come with me. It'll be awesome.

- Michael

Michael,

Teh SuxXOrz would be...? You asked about places to visit in your last message? I didn't get that message then.

Hmm. I used to wander about a lot in the old days, but most of my favourite countries have been so changed they barely resemble the countries I knew.

For some odd reason, the idea of travelling with you actually seems appealing. I can't fathom why. I think my sanity has taken a holiday too.

I loved the Middle East, but it has changed a lot; perhaps we could visit the archaeological sites? Eire, too, has changed, but perhaps not that much, so the Republic of Ireland could be another place to visit. I'm in Britain right now, and you might like it. Oh, and Greece and Rome, of course, and India. I've never actually been to America, but I'm sure it can be nice too, if we avoid the cities, unless you particularly want to see them.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

Well well well, I know about messaging more than the Messenger. The internet's a fun thing! teh suxX0rz is the way the crazy humans online say something sucks. I forget who got me this computer, but it's freaking sweet. remind me to thank whoever it was.

Yeah, that's one thing to say for Humanity - they change fast and they change a lot and they change drastically. Ookay that was three things, but you get the idea. So it'll be even better for you to come with me 'cause then you can see the places again and get a new idea of what they're like!!

Hmm, okay, since this is a world tour, we can start where you are and work our way around. So Britain it is. Mind if I pop in soon? Gotta pack first of course, although that never takes me too long.

-Michael

Michael,

I may be the patron saint of telecommunications, but that doesn't mean I have to keep up to date on the ridiculous language humans have invented for use online.

Oh, wonderful. I've got myself a travelling companion who can't even count.

Strangely, I find myself looking forward to you popping by. I can't imagine why.

I do have one request though. I actually have been to America, once, a very long time ago. The place holds painful memories for me. Are you really very interested in visiting Central America? Because I would rather not return there.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

*I* can imagine why you're looking forward to my visit...

And seeing as you're the expert, we can avoid Central America if you really want to. It's all the same to me right now. Although just give me a name and I'll smite whoever gave you trouble back then (and if they were human and thus dead now, I'll still hunt their soul down).

-Michael

Michael,

It's a good thing *someone* can, because I can't.

*sigh* Look, it was centuries ago. I went there as a missionary, with the Spanish conquistadores. You can't imagine what it was like, Michael. Men, women, children, entire villages were tortured and burned alive for refusing to convert. Temples were desecrated and beautiful books full of scientific knowledge were burned as heretic writings. The Spanish called the locals barbarians for their practice of human sacrifice, but in a few short years the Spanish themselves had killed more people in more painful ways than the Mayans and Aztecs had done in the entire course of their history. I can still hear the screams, see the bodies burning, smell the charred flesh.

I can only hope they have repented by now. Please, hunting them down is useless. He will punish them or forgive them as He sees fit.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

Ehhhh. Okay, so it was the crazies. I remember hearing about that. Humanity and what they'll do in the name of Us... I don't get it, myself. Father has never once requested we torch old religious sites and I can't imagine He ever will. Sigh. Okay. And I have no idea what He does with those souls, the ones who do their evil "in the name of Him," and quite frankly that can stay ineffable.

On our happier note, once I get packed I'll pop on down to visit you. Can you give me specifics or do I have to hope I land in the right spot? Please tell me you're not in London - I can feel okay ignoring my boycott as long as I don't have to visit the Nerd. Honestly, that was a beautiful sword and he just lost it!

-Michael

Michael,

I simply can't understand how people can claim to love Him, to follow His teachings, to follow the teachings of Moses and His Son, and yet be so, so... I simply can't think of a word that describes it. 'Horrific' is a major understatement.

I'm staying in a place called Tadfield Manor, in a town called Lower Tadfield. Unfortunately for you, the Nerd, as you call Aziraphael, is here too. It's a big Manor, though, I'm sure you can avoid him if you want to.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

I prefer "illiterate" (yeah yeah you can make all the snide comments you want) because if they freaking read the Word, they'd know better... Stupid, humans. Hopefully we'll find smarter ones.

As for the Nerd, well, now that I think about it I don't think he even knew of my boycott, so hopefully he can't throw that in my face. Maybe if I stay at the Manor at all ever I can drill with him again, remind him of his roots in the Host. He wasn't even that half bad, for a nerd.

Okay, Tadfield Manor, got it. I'm packed already but I don't want to just pop in and drag you off, so when do you want me? We leave when you give the okay.

-Michael

Michael,

I must confess my jaw dropped; I had no idea you even knew the word, or how to spell it.

I'm sure he'll be touched. Something tells me he won't be too pleased with drills, though.

In fact, *I'm* touched. You could just stay here for a while first, actually; the reason I'm here is that I'm waiting for Adam, to give him a message. Once he finally appears and my job is done, you can "drag me off".

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

Well you've used that word enough to describe me, I figured I ought to look it up!

Weeeeeeeeell that's what he gets for quitting my army. Honourable Discharge my arse.

Awwww. Oo, I want to meet the Antichrist! That'll be great - I'll hang out, we'll catch up, I'll meet the Antichrist, and we'll go on our vacation. It'll be awesome!

-Michael

Michael,

Indeed. I'm impressed. Wherever did you find a dictionary with sufficiently large print?

*Language*, Michael. He seems happy as he is, really.

Your enthusiasm is, for some unfathomable reason, endearing and infectious. We wouldn't need to pack much, though, unless you're planning on bringing your weapons, in which case I will personally repack your luggage for you because I don't feel like hiring our own cargo plane. One sword and one dagger is all I'm allowing you to carry while travelling with me, and we'll have to 'hide' those as well. The humans tend to worry about that sort of thing.

I'm sure the Antichrist shares your sentiments.

~ Gabriel

Gabriel,

What can I say? Humans are creative.

Er. Sorry. You know I'm not good at that sorta thing. Emotions and stuff.

Geeeez Gabriel, I wasn't planning on making this a smiting venture! One sword, one dagger - that's all the more I was planning on bringing too (great minds think alike ;) ).

And of course he does.

I'll be down asap. Well, may not that soon. But soon.

-Michael

Michael,

That they are.

*smile* I know. But you're not completely clueless about it either.

Well, one never knows with you. I could add 'Fools seldom differ' but then I'd be dragging myself down with you.

I'll ensure that the warning sirens are activated then.

~ Gabriel